Do Wake Up!

Tell me,
Did you hear me
Grub my dreams
Last night
Or the nights before?
My eyes turning into
Makeshift shovels
Trying to dig out
The skeletons
I have been hiding
From you
Beneath the layers of
black mud nights.
I remember
You murmured something
As you slumbered next to me
With your head on my shoulder.
Perhaps you did sense
The heavy gush
Of tired breaths
From my mouth
But barely could you hear
The loud thumps on my chest.
Could you ?
Though I wish you had.
I wish you had
So you had woken up
And calmed me down
With a kiss
A hug
Or may be just your hands
Reaching out for mine
Helping me wipe those shovels
Of all the filth from past
That I had been soiling them with
Night after night.
I wish you had
So you could have
Reassured me
That my dreams
Need not be
Endless excavation missions
Yielding nothing but
Debitage memories
But that
They were meant to be
Beautiful gardens of love
And everything else
That I have ever wished for.

Tonight when my heart thumps
I hope you wake up
Please, do wake up!

~ Chhaya

The Belonging

I don’t belong to you
The aureate sunshine.
I am of the darkness
The sapphire nights
The gloomy sky
And the murky shadows.
I dwell
In the abode of dreams
Dozing
In the arms of the moon
Gently caressed
By its silvery beams
Wrapped
In the soothing warmth of
Velvety astral duvet
Reciting
In my mind
The unwritten
Poems of love.
No, I don’t belong to you
The aureate sunshine.

~ Chhaya

Empty

Drained eyes

Yield empty dreams

In the vacuity of

Ransacked nights

As a sunken mind

Unveils memories

From the dark depths

Of times unplumbed.

~ Chhaya

Of Courage

My hands were bruised
Trying to grasp a moment
That felt like an eternity
I was losing a battle again
To a fragile fate
Succumbing to
The trickery
Of my own destiny
I shrivelled
As pain creeped in
Deep inside my gut
While I carried
The hefty remains
Of vanquished dreams
And crushed desires
Recklessly stacked
Beneath the layers
of my peeling skin
My bones crippled
trembled and creaked
and popped and cracked
Under the weight of
Gross despondency
But never did they give in
To the pangs and qualms
Of my decimated hopes

So I kept walking
To fight another battle
To grasp another chance.

~ Chhaya

The Leap

I tried to hang in there
Holding on to something
That didn’t even exist
What slipped
through my hands
Felt like a void or a null
But I thought it was all
That I had ever longed for

You claimed all that I wished
Yet owned nothing at all
And I kept looking for dreams
In your sham virtues and douth

But times cannot be facile
And I knew the fall was due
My hands could no more hold
What seemed like a rosy loop

So the leap was bound by fate
And I had no reason to remorse
For to stay was for sure alluring
But I couldn’t be oh so callow.

~ Chhaya

The Last Summer

I have seen kisses dry
embraces shrivel
and the warmth of touches
turn into scalding frictions
of unfathomed rancour

silhouetted against the sky
I have felt our bodies char
in the sweltering surly nights
insentient of the placid moon
when the tirades of reviling odium
took over us like a febrile illness
and our words blistered malice

we lived with rumpled desires
and crumpled hopes
our wrinkled leathery faces
narrated impassive stories
of a vapid arid romance
and cracked eyes revealed
traces of shattered dreams
as we saw our love fade
from pink to blanched pale
in the ruthless spell of summer
that we last spent together.

~ Chhaya

 

 

 

 

 

Season of Hope

The shivers
that wake me up
at somber nights
are nothing but
gelid spells of
lingering touches
frozen in the
immured stretches
of congealed past

the lost summers
are patches on my skin
of parched caresses
and scorched fondles
Oh! How I undermined
the repercussions of
desiccated memories

but the springs
in my eyes
ask me to hold on
the trecharies
dead and burried
would manure
the blooms to come
they say
deceptions bygone
shall inundate
the barren brown days
with cascades of blue
giving way to
virescent grass of hope
I am told

so I wait
under the caliginous sky
where my tenebrous fears
hide in the folds of murk
until my dreams unfurl
and soar with a leap of faith
in the lambent eminence of
splendid sanguine aurora
elegantly emanating from
a slick turn of time.

~ Chhaya

 

 

 

 

 

 

Blame the Night

Blame the
mischievious night
clinging on to me
if I wake up with
traces of stars
lingering on my skin

the dust from
corroding moon
may turn
my body bronze
blame it on
rusty desires
if you find
my kisses old

my eyes
may still doze off
with the weight of
dampened dreams
blame it on
frigid dew
that drenched
my torrid sleep.

~ Chhaya

Ashy Dreams

My dreams are somber ashes
spread over opaque night
guarded by misty moon
to be preserved till the end of time
they are blown by balmy breeze
flowing slowly as you breathe
my name in a turn of gasp
when loneness gets too stark
and you want to reach to me
but there’s no way it can be
that’s when those ashes fly
hoping that they will somehow find
you dreaming of me too
just like I always do
and then we will sleep in peace
when our dreams will come to meet.

~Chhaya

Loom of Desires

I was the warmth
of your golden skin
and you were the source
of my balmy breaths
those were the nights
when I had learned
how to weave dreams
with my cottony hands

your hair my silken yarn
which I could spin
all through the night
and then wind them
around my fingers
like beams wrapped
around warp-piles

with the jacquard loom of desires
taking hues from ombre skies
I thus wove a thousand dreams
in dark nights with open eyes.

– Chhaya

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