Excavation

I can’t believe
you are right there
excavating
all the unexplored
territories of me
and unveiling
my darkest insecurities
which I had buried
deep inside
the most guarded corners
of my core
displaying
an utmost level of proficiency
in carefully hiding
all the midden of my life
an accumulation of nothing
but skeletons of my past

you can now almost see them
or at least feel their sure presence
as their impressions become clear
even through the layers of filth
which continue to envelope them

and soon your hands will be there
doing away all the laminas
to surface things to light
and that’s when you would realise
how facade was the frame
which glowed in glory
camouflaging all the mayhem
which was breeding inside.

-Chhaya

Blazing Desires

I sear in blazing desires
like the tender morning
which slowly
turns itself ablaze
under the flaming sun
without any qualms
of ceasing to exist
as it burns fiercely
leaving behind no trace
of its very being
or even residues
from its combustion
charing itself till the core
driven solely by
the sheer belief
that it would soon be revived
with the onset of the dusk
finding its ultimate solace
in the arms of the night
desperately waiting
to engulf its parched body
in its mesmeric fervour
and heal it all over again
with its soothing touch
under the silvery beam
showered by the moonlight.

-Chhaya

Pretence

If I place in front of you
all the broken pieces of me
like an inexplicable puzzle
would you even try
to put my fragments together ?

a yes would be an easy answer
for it would bring relief​
even in disbelief
but you can choose
to say no without a flinch
or just nothing at all
to escape the guilt
and I would still comprehend
the response through your silence
a skill which I discreetly learned
being in the company of those
who displayed an act of
perfect pretence
by creating an awkward calm
when my simple questions
would be received as
complex inquisitions
choking their throats
and clogging their mouths
for honest answers
demanded courage
which their virtuous selves
did barely possess

so you can tell me the truth
without feeling throttled
as a no wouldn’t mean
I would give up on you
for I can still put my pieces together
and still mend my broken self
the trick was only to see
if you would want to bear my pain
for to live with false assurances
can be very elevating at times
but I would always prefer the ground
than gliding on illusory skies.

-Chhaya

Love Shore

Overflowing
from the reservoir
deep in my heart
the love so profound
looks for an outlet
as the spouts of
enamoured urges
engross in imagination
thrusting all of my desires
to flow down a stream
of intense yearnings
drowning my fervour
only in that direction
which reaches the shore
of your luscious lips
where my aqueous body
would finally settle
to be absorbed by you.

-Chhaya

Love Me Deep

Go beyond my skin
and scratch my bones
caress my heart
and fondle my soul

ignite fiery passion
and freeze my fears
quench my desires
and dry my tears

remove my layers
and gaze me through
embrace my scars
and kiss my wounds

taste every bit of me
and devour my savory sweat
cling on to my enamoring body
and fill me with your luscious breath

repeat the unsaid words with me
and sing the unheard silent moans
swing a little in those rhythmic spasms
and glide in curvy mounts and slopes

melt me in your soothing warmth
and let me rest in your every pore
mould me in your distinct shape
and hide me deep inside your core.

-Chhaya

Ambiguity

I have wandered before
in the dense forest of
deep dark ambiguity
which envelops
the wide space between
a yes and a no

certainly not because
I was a fool to do so
but because
I always thought
perhaps you needed
some more time

and moreover,
when has life
ever promised
to be a platter
full of certainties,
has it ?

but now I realise
I didn’t deserve to be there
not for it was too creepy
to see my insecurities
grow into tall trees
fluttering their leaves
in the winds of melancholy
as I wandered alone
in that dark dense forest

but simply for the reason that
some questions demand
an absolute answer
no matter what
Period !

-Chhaya

Calling Out Your Name

I often call out your name
in the moments of extreme solitude
when the only thing I hear
is the sound of my own breath
and the tick tock of the clock
as the seconds merge with the minutes
and the minutes merge with the hours
but they never seem to have
enough of each other
for they keep going round and round
with an unfathomable desire
to unite again and again

I often call out your name
when a thin crescent moon
tries to slip into my room
through the slit of the window pane
to brighten up the ambience
just enough to make it possible
to barely perceive the presence
of objects in the darkness
I so vividly remember,
that’s as much light you prefer
when we make love, right ?

I often call out your name
when all the possibilities
of reaching out to you seem bleak
as distances transform into walls
obstructing all of my senses
which were only meant to feel you
and slowly in dire despair
senses turn impervious to stimuli
making me feel like I am nothing more
but just a clutter of vestigial organs

Yes, I often call out your name
when I am all alone.

-Chhaya

Of “Beings” and “Not-beings”

I was
everything
you thought
I would
never be

and you were
nothing
of the sort
I wanted you
to be

yet
in my “beings”
you somehow found
what you were
looking for

and in your
“not beings”
I was content
like never before

so while
your “not beings”
filled my voids
with tint of
rainbow hues

my every “being”
was there to cleanse
your life of
all the blues

and thus
despite our “beings”
and “not beings”
we thrived in mystique​ bliss

as we realised
a love so divine
amidst all the impossibilities.

-Chhaya

Clandestine Nights

Behind the dark curtains
of clandestine nights
reside stories
of silent pain
endured under
velvety blankets
wrapped in disguise
around cotton bedsheets
with aesthetic prints

and then there are
silky pillows
soaked
not in tears
but in the
venomous sap of
crushed dreams
and squeezed desires
retaining moisture
at all times
as the shadows
of dark memories
never tend
to give way
to even a
strayed beam
of hope

and as the night grows
the silence amplifies
the noise of every word
that remained unsaid
and every cry
that remained unheard
and yet another sleep
is thus devoured by the
clamorous quiescence
of a ruthless night
waiting anxiously
for the light of dawn.

-Chhaya

Create a free website or blog at WordPress.com.

Up ↑